I remember I used to draw a timeline in my groovy chick diary when I was 8 or 9. In the timeline, it had lifetime events that I thought I would accomplish by a certain age.
By 22 I would have graduated. Of course, at University I would’ve found the love of my life and we would be living together at the age of 24. At 25, I would’ve got engaged and started preparing for our wedding. Meanwhile, from 25-27 I would focus on my career and get a few promotions. Then at 28, I would finally be married.
It seemed like I thought life stopped after marriage because I never used to write about anything after that. Slightly odd, but as a young, south asian female child… it doesn't surprise me that I used to think marriage was the be all and end all of my life (as a woman). Luckily, that thought didn’t last long. I eventually found my voice and through the encouragements of my wonderful Dad, I knew that marriage wasn’t the only future I had.
Yet, I never thought that a change of direction would be a part of my twenties. I didn’t even think it was a choice. I knew I needed to have a respectable job that paid well… and I guess that was all I knew. Fast forward many years later and here I am. Still living with my parents (nothing wrong with that), in a career path that I no longer want to pursue, single (didn’t imagine that) and just… well… existing (really didn’t imagine that).
At first, I blamed my own expectations for this slight disappointment. But to be frankly honest with you... I guess it’s really not that deep. In the last few years that I’ve felt lost, I’ve come to realise that I’m only in my mid twenties and I’m still young. I’ve still got so much time to rearrange and figure life out! Who says you have to have E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G figured out in your 20’s? I don’t know why that expectation is still around tbh. It's an ideal that we need to abolish!
So, if you’re also in your twenties and you feel a little “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life-isssh” just know that, that feeling is completely okay. The rest of us probably feel the same way too (but not everyone vocalises it). You’ve probably come a long way in life, even if you prefer to spend your weekends, wearing the same pair of pyjamas. I always say this but, life is not a race. Just live the best you can and the rest will follow.
… shit. I guess I have learnt a thing or two.
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